Austin Driving Guide

I found this rather amusing. Special thanks to Alamo Title for hunting this down.

Rules of Austin --- Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Austin has its own set of rules....

1. All directions start with "Go down Mopac...'cause you don't want to get on I-35."
2 Burnet Road, Braker Lane, and Lamar Blvd. have no beginning and no end.
3. It is impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a scenic drive.
4. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 6:30 am to 9:30 am. The 5:00 pm rush hour is from 3:30pm to 7:15 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from Austin. You may apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a burnt-orange hue. This is Longhorn Country, after all.
6. Just remember that Mopac is Loop1; Capital of Texas Hwy is 360; and US 183 is Research Blvd., Anderson Ln., Ed Bluestein Blvd., and Old Bastrop Hwy; 2222 is Northland Dr. or Allendale Rd. or Koenig Ln.
7. If moisture is determined to be rain, and not sweat, al traffic must immediately come to a screeching halt.
8. DO NOT attempt to access any road during an apocalyptic event like snow or SXSW or the ACL Fest or any one of the myriad running marathons held in Austin each year. Construction on I-35 and US 183 is a way of life.
9. Manchaca, TX is pronounced MAN-chack. Also, the city of Manchaca (MANchack) is in Hays and Travis Counties and there is also a very long street in Austin named Manchaca (MANchack).
10. The city of Manor and Manor Rd. are pronounced "MAY-ner"
11. Please don't pronounce the 'E' at the end of Guadalupe. It's Gwada-LOOP and we like it that way.
12. Burnet Road is pronounced BURN-it, not Bur-NET.
13. Koenig Lane is pronounced KAE-nig not KOE-nig.
14. The old airport (Robert Mueller) is pronounced Robert Miller and is on Airport Blvd. The new airport (Austin-Bergstrom) is no where near Airport Blvd. It's in the city of Del Valle pronounced Dell Valley.